This is part 9 of 12 in the series Reviews of X

Previously on Reviews of X: Sassy Sinister spilled some saucy secrets! They’re all lies probably, but it was great. Now, in House of X #5, a major mystery from the first issue is finally solved, and IT. IS. WILD. SPOILERS AHEAD!

House of X #5

House of X #5: Society

Story: Jonathan Hickman

Art: Pepe Larraz

Colors: Marte Gracia

Letters: VC’s Clayton Cowles

Publisher: Marvel

The Mutant Resurrection Machine

Hope, Elixir, Proteus, Tempus, and frickin’ Goldballs. That just sounds like a list of random secondary X-characters that you wouldn’t put together even in a satellite X-Men team. But leave it to Jonathan Hickman to find a way to make them the most important mutants in mutantdom.

House of X #5 - The Five

The Five, as they’re now known, work together as the engine of Krakoa’s Mutant Resurrection Machine. So here’s how it works:

  1. Goldballs produces gold balls which turn out to be eggs. Eww.
  2. Proteus warps reality to make the eggs “viable”.
  3. The DNA of specific mutants to be resurrected are then injected into the now viable eggs.
  4. Elixir sparks life in the eggs.
  5. Tempus matures the eggs until the mutant husk inside reaches the desired age.
  6. Professor X, using the latest backup of the target mutant’s mind, gives the mutant husk a soul.
  7. Hope enhances the powers of Goldballs, Elixir, Proteus, and Tempus to ensure success.

WILD. Basically, no mutant ever really dies now thanks to this resurrection process. It’s bonkers and yet somehow still makes perfect sense if you consider the rules in this world where Goldballs and mutant mind save points exist.

Thanks to the Mutant Resurrection Machine, the X-Men who died in House of X #4 are alive again. Their minds are intact, their bodies are brand new (they’re technically biological children of Goldballs now?), and they’re naked in front of dozens of mutants in Krakoa. It’s weird but in a good way.

What’s weirder though is how they’re all giving off a creepy cult vibe. I still don’t know how to feel about this. They all seem to be drinking Professor X’s Kool-Aid but they’re still acting kind of in character.

House of X #5 - No Touching

No touching, Storm. No touching!

Mutant Diplomacy

Emma Frost played dirty with the United Nations to have them engage in a diplomatic relationship with Krakoa. Professor X knows it and is perfectly fine with it. They chat telepathically about their victory like the dastardly villains that they are. I don’t care if Xavier is breaking bad but I don’t like how Emma has regressed into a manipulative supervillain.

House of X #5 - Professor X and Emma Frost

This is not what I was expecting after the events of House of X #4. I expected a big, violent retaliatory action from the mutants, not telepathy-assisted diplomacy. I expected death and destruction, not telepathic chit-chat while drinking a little bit of the bubbly. I guess Hickman’s mutant ability is to subvert X-pectations.

It’s interesting to note that not all nations have chosen to become friendly friends with Krakoa. Wakanda straight up rejects a trade treaty with Krakoa because they don’t need mutant drugs. Other nations like Russia, North Korea, and Latveria want to stay away from mutantdom as well. No touching.

One People

We’ve already seen good mutants working with evil mutants before. Some reformed villains have joined the X-Men. Some seriously threatening common enemies have forced good guys and bad guys to team up and fight alongside each other. But we’ve never seen anything like this.

Two days after Krakoa has been accepted by the UN as a sovereign nation, a bunch of nasty X-villains arrives in Krakoa not to fight the X-Men and the civilian mutants already there, but to humbly join them as one people.

House of X #5 - Apocalypse

It’s jarring to see such dastardly characters as Mister Sinister, Emplate, Lady Mastermind, and Apocalypse play nice with the X-Men. As much as Wolverine wants to slice ’em and dice ’em, the villains are villains no more. They’re mutants and Krakoa welcomes all. No slicing. No dicing. No fighting. No touching.

IN CONCLUSION

With a major mystery from the first issue finally being solved and the mutant nation of Krakoa finally being official, it feels like everything is going according to plan. With a united mutant nation collectively cheating death, what could possibly go wrong?

There are three issues left in HoX PoX so there’s still time for things to go absolutely, hideously wrong. Or maybe everything will just keep getting better to subvert X-pectations.

House of X #5 is available now wherever fine comic books are sold.

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